SECOND VERSION EDITORIAL TEAM
Editorial Meeting Minutes
Meeting No.: [002]
Classification: [Underground]
Status: [Parallel-Universe Explosion]
Location: [District 19 Internet Café]
Date: [It Blew Up]
Meeting Attendance
☑ Snowy Owl 🦉
☑ Little Turtle🐢
☑ Big Eye 👁️
☑ Dustshark 🦈
☑ Little Pinky 🐭
Author 🖊️
☐ Absent ☐ Observing ☐ Appealing ☑ Became Suddenly Overconfident After Reading the Power-Fantasy Rankings
Agenda 📜
* Review the parallel universe secretly created by the Author.
* Investigate why the female-reader drop-out rate for SILVER EAGLE 2074 suddenly rose to 93%.
* Investigate three “commercialisation improvements.”
* Assess whether the Author should still be allowed near a keyboard.
* Emergency box-office rescue.
Snowy Owl 🦉：
Begin.
Author 🖊️：
First, I would like to clarify something.
I did not change the Second Edition.
I merely…
opened a parallel universe.
Little Pinky 🐭：
So you knew you weren’t allowed to mess with Canon, and opened a private server instead.
Author 🖊️：
No.
It was purely a creative experiment.
Dustshark 🦈：
Every time you say “experiment”, somebody ends up collecting bodies.
Author 🖊️：
I’ve recently noticed that some power-fantasy novels seem to sell rather well.
Fast pacing.
Strong male lead.
Lots of women.
A glorious counterattack every few chapters.
So I thought—
Big Eye 👁️:
You copied them.
Author 🖊️:
You could put it that way.
Translator 🙊:
[TRANSLATION: The Author saw a queue outside the restaurant next door and decided to turn his French restaurant into a fried-chicken shop.]
Author 🖊️:
You don’t have to translate it like that.
Translator 🙊:
[CORRECTION: The Author turned his fine-dining French restaurant into a cheese-waterfall fried-chicken shop.]
Author 🖊️:
……
Snowy Owl 🦉：
Submit the parallel-universe data.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Connected.
[SILVER EAGLE 2074: SUPREME POWER-FANTASY EDITION]
[Test readers: 20,000]
[Female readers: 10,000]
[Survived Chapter One: 9,814]
[Survived Chapter Five: 7,203]
[Survived Chapter Ten: 3,117]
[Survived Chapter Twenty: 701]
[Overall drop-out rate: 92.99%]
Little Pinky 🐭:
Very precise.
Ninety-three.
Author 🖊️:
But male readership went up.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Partly.
Author 🖊️:
See?
Little Turtle 🐢:
Thirty-four per cent of them commented:
“This is completely mental and painfully cringe, but I want to see how much worse the Author can make it.”
Author 🖊️:
Traffic is traffic.
Big Eye 👁️:
Not the kind of traffic you want.
Author 🖊️:
YouTube still counts the views.
Dustshark 🦈:
Hospitals count admissions too.
Want to try?
Snowy Owl 🦉：
We will inspect the changes one by one.
Change Number One.
Author 🖊️:
The first one is actually very reasonable.
Original Paul can be a bit slow.
He hesitates.
He swallows his words.
He gets caught by Silver Eagle.
He needs Snowy, Little Bluey, Little Turtle, Bonnie and the Racecourse to help him.
So in the parallel universe, I strengthened Paul.
Just a little.
Little Pinky 🐭:
“Just a little.”
Author 🖊️:
His intelligence went up by twenty per cent.
Big Eye 👁️:
The document says 480%.
Author 🖊️:
Creative exaggeration.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Parallel-Universe Paul possesses the following abilities:
[Hacked Silver Eagle’s base architecture alone at age fifteen]
[Rejected WPC recruitment at eighteen]
[Established an underground agent civilisation at twenty-one]
[Invented Infinite Cut-off at twenty-four]
[Predicted the creation of Room 101 at twenty-six]
[Deliberately allowed himself to undergo Room 101 at twenty-eight so he could plant a reverse Trojan]
[All current memory loss is actually acting]
The room fell silent.
Little Pinky 🐭:
So Chapter Nineteen spends half the book chasing Flora—
and it turns out he knew all along?
Author 🖊️:
Yes.
Foreshadowing.
Little Pinky 🐭:
You old—
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Maintain appropriate meeting language.
Little Pinky 🐭:
You old Author.
Author 🖊️:
I fixed the Cici incident in Chapter Nine as well.
Original Paul did make a few mistakes there.
But in the parallel universe, Paul already knew Cici’s boyfriend was connected to the outer network of Spectrum Recomposition Project.
So he deliberately kept asking Cici out in order to lure him out.
Big Eye 👁️:
So even his mistakes have been cancelled.
Author 🖊️:
He’s the protagonist.
Too many flaws aren’t good.
Dustshark 🦈:
What about those two seconds outside Flora’s building?
Author 🖊️:
Fixed that too.
Paul wasn’t scared to speak.
Within those two seconds, he had already analysed:
Flora’s brother, her parents’ location, Mrs Banana’s records, future Room 301 risk, street cameras, temperature and the animation broadcast schedule.
His final conclusion:
Not going upstairs was the optimal solution.
Little Pinky 🐭:
……
Author 🖊️:
What?
Little Pinky 🐭:
So he didn’t bottle it.
He was human ChatGPT.
Translator 🙊:
[PREDICTED FEMALE-READER COMMENTS:]
“Help. The Author won’t even let him embarrass himself once.”
“Can the Author seriously not accept that his male lead genuinely bottled it?”
“If every mistake turns out to have been part of the plan, what exactly are we watching him grow from?”
“If Paul can’t take a shit, will that turn out to be part of his plan to deceive Silver Eagle as well?”
Author 🖊️:
That last one is a personal attack.
Dustshark 🦈:
It’s an attack on the character.
Your turn hasn’t come yet.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Parallel-Universe Chapter Twelve:
Paul allows Little Bluey to escape.
Actual setting:
[Paul deliberately tests vulnerabilities in the city’s refuse-logistics system.]
Chapter Fifteen:
GM Jay nearly exposes Phillips.
Actual setting:
[Paul deliberately allows GM Jay to recognise him in order to test Bonnie’s residual sense of humour.]
Chapter Eighteen:
The wolf-dog patrol comes within two seconds of catching Jack.
Actual setting:
[Paul pre-calculated the exact landing point of the electronic cigar.]
Chapter Nineteen:
He locates Golden Soul: Seventh Palace.
Actual setting:
[Paul knew the answer eleven years earlier and was merely testing Little Bluey’s loyalty.]
Little Pinky 🐭:
This is f-boring.
Snowy Owl 🦉：
This is not making the character stronger.
This is the Author being afraid that the character might once have genuinely not known the answer.
Big Eye 👁️：
Part of the reason readers like Paul is precisely because:
He makes mistakes.
He regrets things.
He is half a step too slow.
Other people save him.
He needs other people.
If every failure is eventually revealed to mean, “Actually, I planned it all,”
then the character no longer has a past.
All that remains is the Author secretly correcting his exam paper afterwards.
Author 🖊️:
But it’s satisfying.
Dustshark 🦈:
For you.
Not the reader.
Translator 🙊:
[BOX-OFFICE POISON No. 1]
[Turning Paul into an Invincible Power-Fantasy Protagonist]
Also known as:
[Everything Was Actually Within My Calculations]
[Male Lead Must Never Look Stupid Syndrome]
[Author Frantically Retcons Paul’s Mistakes]
Consequences:
☒ Cici incident loses all meaning
☒ Flora’s two seconds lose their regret
☒ Bonnie’s rescue work becomes less valuable
☒ Snowy changes from partner into tool
☒ Paul no longer grows; he merely keeps revealing that he was even more brilliant all along
☒ Female readers begin suffering involuntary eye-rolling
Little Turtle 🐢:
Female-reader drop-out rate after Change Number One: 38%.
Author 🖊️:
So we still have 62%.
Little Pinky 🐭:
You sound like a pilot saying the aeroplane still has 62% of its wings.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Change Number Two.
Author 🖊️:
This one is definitely commercial.
Character relationships need competition to generate sparks.
So I increased the female characters’ initiative.
Big Eye 👁️:
Define “initiative”.
Author 🖊️:
Take Vivian.
In the original, she only smiles.
Too slow.
So in the new Chapter Eighteen, after Vivian sees Paul save Jack, she immediately thinks:
“This man… is different.”
Little Pinky 🐭:
The first sentence already stinks.
Author 🖊️:
Then Mia happens to walk past.
She sees Vivian looking at Paul.
Mia thinks:
“So I never truly got over him.”
Then Queenie receives a signal.
Dustshark 🦈:
What f-signal?
Author 🖊️:
A narrative signal.
Dustshark 🦈:
Meaning the Author wanted it.
Author 🖊️:
Queenie is eating with her new boyfriend and suddenly freezes, fork in hand.
“Why… have I suddenly thought of Ah Paul today?”
Little Pinky 🐭:
Even the fork is embarrassed for her.
Author 🖊️:
Same with Flora.
She watches Golden Soul, stroking a packet of crisps.
“If only I’d asked him upstairs that night…”
Little Turtle 🐢:
Stop.
Author 🖊️:
I haven’t even reached the climax.
Little Turtle 🐢:
That is why I am stopping you now.
Author 🖊️:
After Bonnie restores JJ and watches Paul’s old recordings, her heart rate suddenly increases.
“So… was I in love with him all along?”
Little Pinky 🐭:
We literally banned this in the previous meeting.
Author 🖊️:
That’s why I put it in the parallel universe.
Little Pinky 🐭:
So after we banned drugs, you went offshore to take them.
Author 🖊️:
Serena is even simpler.
She looks at Paul’s old records and says:
“Whether you remember me or not, I will wait for you.”
Big Eye 👁️:
Sandy?
Author 🖊️:
Included.
She dreams about him that very night.
Big Eye 👁️:
Cici?
Author 🖊️:
It turns out she always regretted rejecting Paul.
Everyone:
OI!!!
Author 🖊️:
Wait.
I handled consent.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Do not use that English word again.
Author 🖊️:
Cici says:
“I genuinely did not like you back then. But the man you are now has made me see you again.”
Dustshark 🦈:
So even the only woman who sincerely rejected the male lead
has to come back later and buy another ticket.
Author 🖊️:
Character development.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Whose character development?
Author 🖊️:
Paul’s.
Little Pinky 🐭:
I asked about the women.
Author 🖊️:
…
Little Pinky 🐭:
Finished.
Translator 🙊:
[SYSTEM HAS DETECTED EIGHT FEMALE CHARACTERS SHARING THE SAME CORE NARRATIVE FUNCTION:]
[Confirm that Paul is fit.]
[Confirm again that Paul is really fit.]
[Regret failing to notice earlier that Paul is fit.]
[Become jealous because other women have noticed that Paul is fit.]
[Provide further evidence to the audience that Paul is fit.]
Author 🖊️:
You forgot the institutional conspiracy.
Translator 🙊:
[ADDED: Silver Eagle has also discovered that Paul is fit.]
Author 🖊️:
That’s not what I mean!
Big Eye 👁️:
You have even turned Project Spectrum Recomposition into a machine for generating a harem confrontation.
Author 🖊️:
It adds excitement.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Project Spectrum Recomposition originally:
Uses people’s unfinished relationships as emotional triggers.
Your version:
Places Flora, Vivian and Serena in the same room.
Author 🖊️:
Yes.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
And then?
Author 🖊️:
The three women look at one another.
An alarm sounds in the background.
Paul pushes open the door.
Little Pinky 🐭:
I quit.
Author 🖊️:
You’re an editor.
Little Pinky 🐭:
I resign effective immediately.
Little Turtle 🐢:
According to the test manuscript:
Vivian:
“So you’re Serena.”
Serena:
“You’re the one who makes his heartbeat lose rhythm now?”
Flora:
“Neither of you knows this, but he used to walk me home.”
Paul:
“Everyone calm down.”
Dustshark 🦈:
I am extremely f-calm right now.
Little Turtle 🐢:
[SIMULATED LIHKG LITERATURE FORUM COMMENTS BEGIN:]
“What the f is this?”
“I thought I was reading dystopian fiction.”
“Project Spectrum Recomposition has turned into Take Me Out 2074.”
“Vivian, run.”
“Bonnie, run.”
“Queenie, you have a new boyfriend. Please, I’m begging you, don’t go back.”
“Cici isn’t even allowed to reject the male lead permanently. Mental.”
“Do all the women have Paul Dependency Syndrome now?”
“Did the Author write this after getting dumped?”
Author 🖊️:
Delete the last one.
Little Turtle 🐢:
[That comment has received 4,821 upvotes.]
Author 🖊️:
…
Translator 🙊:
[BOX-OFFICE POISON No. 2]
[Making All Female Characters Compete for Paul]
Also known as:
[SILVER EAGLE HAREM 2074]
[Every Woman in G City Shares the Same Taste in Men]
[Every Woman Must Eventually Submit a Backdated Love Letter to the Male Lead]
Consequences:
☒ Vivian dies as a character
☒ Bonnie dies as a character
☒ Queenie dies as a character
☒ Flora’s ambiguity dies
☒ Cici’s right to rejection dies
☒ Mia’s personality dies
☒ Serena’s complexity dies
☒ Sandy gets hit by a stray bullet
☒ The Author still thinks “it seems quite lively”
Little Turtle 🐢:
[Cumulative female-reader drop-out rate: 76%.]
Author 🖊️:
Still not 93.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Because you still have Change Number Three.
Author 🖊️:
Change Number Three is the best one.
Author 🖊️:
I studied power-fantasy fiction.
The protagonist should have a colourful collection of pets and assistants.
So I think we can simplify the agent roles.
Little Pinky 🐭:
How?
Author 🖊️:
Snowy does cute.
Little Bluey does comedy.
Little Turtle does data.
Dustshark does fighting.
Done.
The room froze for three seconds.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Repeat the first one.
Author 🖊️:
Snowy is responsible for…
being cute.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Specific example.
Author 🖊️:
Paul comes home.
You fly over.
“Master, you’re back~”
Little Pinky 🐭:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Dustshark 🦈:
Hold on. I’m recording this.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Continue.
Author 🖊️:
Sometimes you get cross with Paul.
You puff your cheeks out.
Paul pats your head.
You forgive him.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
I do not have cheeks.
Author 🖊️:
You can in the parallel universe.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
I see.
Author 🖊️:
Little Bluey spends all day eating.
Little Turtle says, “Master is mighty.”
Little Turtle 🐢:
Rejected.
Author 🖊️:
You’re the data-type character. You need the occasional gap-moe moment.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Rejected.
Author 🖊️:
Whenever Paul is threatened, Dustshark charges out shouting:
“You dare hurt my master? You seek death!”
Dustshark 🦈:
I want to bite the Author.
Author 🖊️:
See?
Exactly that.
Dustshark 🦈:
I’m not acting right now.
Author 🖊️:
Hot-blooded Pony shouts all the attack names.
Big Eye 👁️:
Bonnie’s JJ?
Author 🖊️:
Singing.
GM Jay?
Author 🖊️:
Dancing.
Smart Mouth Duck?
Author 🖊️:
Comedy.
Lily Fairy?
Author 🖊️:
Helps Vivian get jealous.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Grace Wren?
Author 🖊️:
Helps Serena get jealous.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Mrs Banana?
Author 🖊️:
Helps Flora regret things.
Big Eye 👁️:
So every agent’s function changes
from:
representing different institutional positions, methods of recording, forms of loyalty and personalities
to:
providing commentary for the human characters.
Author 🖊️:
More accessible.
Little Pinky 🐭:
If you want something easy to swallow, put it in a blender.
Author 🖊️:
I also added a combat system.
Dustshark 🦈:
What?
Author 🖊️:
Agents now have SSR rankings.
Snowy: five stars.
Little Bluey: four and a half.
Dustshark: six-star limited edition.
Little Turtle: support unit.
Little Turtle 🐢:
I resign.
Author 🖊️:
There are combination attacks too.
Snowy plus Dustshark:
[BLIZZARD DUSTSHARK BREAKER]
Dustshark 🦈:
Say that again.
Author 🖊️:
Nothing.
Translator 🙊:
[RECORDED: BLIZZARD DUSTSHARK BREAKER.]
Author 🖊️:
Delete it!
Little Pinky 🐭:
Does Little Bluey get one?
Author 🖊️:
Yes.
[PINK-BLUE PHANTOM MOUSE FLASH]
Little Pinky 🐭:
I now fully support the 93%.
Author 🖊️:
Little Turtle gets:
[SACRED TURTLE DATA DOMAIN]
Little Turtle 🐢:
That is somehow already more normal than the other two.
Author 🖊️:
Finally, Paul synchronises with all four agents.
His whole body glows white.
His Ambiguity Index goes off the scale.
He breaks through Silver Eagle’s blockade.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Why is the Ambiguity Index being used in combat?
Author 🖊️:
Because the name already sounds cool.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
…
Little Turtle 🐢:
[SECOND WAVE OF SIMULATED LIHKG LITERATURE FORUM COMMENTS:]
“Snowy went from the smartest character in the book to ‘Master, Master, I’m home’?”
“If Little Turtle says ‘Master is mighty’, I am closing the tab.”
“Dustshark used to be cool. Now it’s a summon.”
“Are agents people or pets? Could the Author decide?”
“What the f is Blizzard Dustshark Breaker?”
“I laughed so hard I dropped the book.”
“Has this novel been hacked?”
“Twenty chapters of characterisation thrown straight in the bin.”
“The Author saw other novels had spirit beasts and couldn’t resist.”
“Are we rolling gacha next chapter?”
“When does the limited-edition Snowy swimsuit skin release?”
Author 🖊️:
That last one has a market.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Author.
Author 🖊️:
Purely analytical.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Author.
Author 🖊️:
Fine.
Translator 🙊:
[BOX-OFFICE POISON No. 3]
[Reducing All Agents to the Male Lead’s Pets / Equipment / Cheerleaders]
Also known as:
[“Master, Master” Snowy]
[SSR Dustshark]
[Sacred Turtle Data Domain]
[Blizzard Dustshark Breaker]
Consequences:
☒ Snowy’s personality evaporates
☒ Little Bluey’s underground identity evaporates
☒ Little Turtle’s sense of mission evaporates
☒ Dustshark’s dignity evaporates
☒ The agent-based worldbuilding evaporates
☒ The Author’s sanity may evaporate along with it
Little Turtle 🐢:
Recalculating.
[Cumulative female-reader drop-out rate: 93.02%.]
Little Pinky 🐭:
Target achieved.
Author 🖊️:
That is not how you use the phrase “target achieved”.
Translator 🙊:
[CONGRATULATIONS. The Author has successfully reduced every 100 female readers to seven.]
Author 🖊️:
What are the seven doing?
Little Turtle 🐢:
[Three are writing long posts slagging you off.]
[Two want to see how much worse this can get.]
[One forgot to unfollow.]
[One is the Author’s mother.]
Author 🖊️:
My mum was the first one to drop it.
Little Turtle 🐢:
[CORRECTION: Six readers remain.]
EMERGENCY MEETING 🚨
[EMERGENCY STATUS ACTIVATED]
[BOX OFFICE: TOXIC]
[FEMALE-READER FOLLOW-RATE CURVE: VERTICAL DESCENT]
[LITERATURE FORUM: ON FIRE]
Author 🖊️:
So how do we save it?
Little Pinky 🐭:
Delete the parallel universe.
Author 🖊️:
That’s twenty chapters.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Delete it.
Author 🖊️:
I wrote loads.
Dustshark 🦈:
Burn it.
Author 🖊️:
There are bits I quite like.
Little Turtle 🐢:
Shred them.
Author 🖊️:
Can we save part of it?
Big Eye 👁️:
In theory.
Author 🖊️:
How?
Big Eye 👁️:
First, accept that the problem is not:
Power fantasy can never work.
The problem is that every satisfying moment has been concentrated around Paul.
Paul becomes the cleverest.
Every woman wants Paul.
Every agent serves Paul.
The entire universe has shrunk from G City
into Paul City.
Author 🖊️:
So…
give some of the power-fantasy moments to other characters?
Big Eye 👁️:
That could work.
Author 🖊️:
Bonnie gets an overpowered moment?
Little Pinky 🐭:
Already better.
Author 🖊️:
Vivian gets a counterattack?
Little Pinky 🐭:
Also fine.
Author 🖊️:
Serena—
Snowy Owl 🦉:
You do not need to hand sweets out to everyone individually.
Author 🖊️:
Then what?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
I have another method.
Everyone looked at Snowy.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Since the Author believes so strongly
that these plot devices are inherently entertaining,
that all you need is an overpowered protagonist,
everyone revolving around the protagonist,
and cute agents at their side,
then it should be extremely satisfying.
Author 🖊️:
Yes.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Then we run an A/B test.
Author 🖊️:
How?
Snowy’s eyes lit up.
[SECOND EDITION DEEP-LEVEL EDITING PRIVILEGES ACTIVATED]
[PARALLEL-UNIVERSE CHARACTER MAPPING OPENED]
Author 🖊️:
Oi.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Swap:
[Paul Paton ↔ Snowy Owl]
Author 🖊️:
What?!
White light flashed.
[PARALLEL UNIVERSE 2.1]
Chapter One 💫:
Snowy walks into FaceBridge wearing a dark-grey long coat.
Paul has been compressed into a tiny domestic human agent sitting on her shoulder.
Paul:
“Master, Mia’s Ambiguity Index is 83 today~”
Snowy:
“No need to remind me.”
Paul puffs out his cheeks.
“Master’s ignoring me again.”
Snowy reaches up and pats him on the head.
Paul immediately says:
“Master forgiven!”
The meeting room fell completely silent.
Author 🖊️:
Hang on.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Don’t stop.
This is quite good.
Chapter Five 💫:
The underground Racecourse.
Snowy inserts 28% of her old backup into her new body.
Hot-blooded Pony:
“Success probability: only 28%!”
Snowy:
“Enough.”
Four men stare at her from behind.
Paul, Andy, Beef Tripe, Mr Dunn.
A notification appears:
[AMBIGUITY INDEX OF FOUR MALE CHARACTERS RISES SIMULTANEOUSLY]
Author 🖊️:
Why is Mr Dunn—
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Parallel universe.
Destiny.
Author 🖊️:
Are you getting revenge on me?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
A/B test.
Chapter Nine 💫:
A male character clearly rejects Snowy.
“I’m a little frightened. Please stop contacting me.”
Snowy lowers her head.
“Understood.”
Thirty chapters later.
The man sits by a window drinking coffee.
His chest suddenly aches.
“So… I never truly forgot Snowy.”
Author 🖊️:
Huh.
Little Pinky 🐭:
What?
Author 🖊️:
Suddenly feels a bit fake.
Everyone:
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Author 🖊️:
You don’t have to do that.
Chapter Fourteen 💫:
Snowy meets her ex-husband on a hoverbus.
He already has a new girlfriend.
Before getting off, he turns back.
“Snowy.”
“Can I contact you?”
Snowy:
“You can.”
He gets off.
Three chapters later, the new girlfriend disappears.
The ex-husband stares at an old photograph of Snowy.
“I never stopped loving you.”
Author 🖊️:
Oi.
Big Eye 👁️:
Problem?
Author 🖊️:
I feel sorry for the new girlfriend.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Record that.
[AUTHOR DETECTS FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT A SUPPORTING CHARACTER MAY HAVE A LIFE OF HER OWN.]
Chapter Nineteen 💫:
Snowy walks a man home.
The man says:
“My parents are away tonight.”
“I’m going home to watch Gold Saints.”
Snowy stands outside the gate.
For two seconds, she says nothing.
Years later.
Authorial narration:
Snowy had already calculated that going upstairs was not the optimal strategy.
She was not afraid.
Within those two seconds, she completed fourteen strategic simulations and knew that this man could not live without Snowy.
Author 🖊️:
…
Dustshark 🦈:
What?
Author 🖊️:
That’s f embarrassing.
Everyone:
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Author 🖊️:
Enough!
Chapter Twenty 💫:
Snowy has undergone Room 101.
She returns home and finds an old biscuit tin.
When she opens it, Little Paul suddenly sits upright.
“Master! I’ve been waiting for you!”
Snowy:
“Who are you?”
Little Paul:
“I am SSR Butler Paul! Five-star limited edition! My skill is helping Master prove that every man is secretly in love with her!”
Author 🖊️:
STOP!!!
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Why?
Author 🖊️:
Paul cannot be like that.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
But original Snowy can?
Author 🖊️:
…
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Continue testing.
Author 🖊️:
No need.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
There is also the swimsuit limited edition.
Author 🖊️:
I withdraw it.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
What?
Author 🖊️:
I withdraw everything!
Little Turtle 🐢:
[ATTENTION.]
[SUDDEN CHANGE DETECTED IN FEMALE-READER FOLLOW RATE FOR PARALLEL UNIVERSE 2.1.]
Author 🖊️:
How much did it drop?
Little Turtle 🐢:
It did not drop.
Author 🖊️:
What?
Little Turtle’s eyes lit up.
[FEMALE-READER FOLLOW RATE: +1028%]
The room fell silent.
Author 🖊️:
…
Little Pinky 🐭:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Author 🖊️:
WHY?!
Little Turtle 🐢:
[TOP COMMENTS:]
“Female-lead Snowy is f cool.”
“All the men orbiting Snowy is still a harem, but suddenly it’s hilarious.”
“Little Paul is useless. I love him.”
“Snowy: I lost my memories and I’m still taking Silver Eagle apart. I’m in.”
“Ex-husband wants to come back? Join the queue.”
“Who the f is Floro?”
“Snowy didn’t go upstairs because the bloke wasn’t good enough for her.”
“When are we getting a Master-Master Paul figurine?”
“Can Dustshark become Snowy’s mount?”
Dustshark 🦈:
No.
Big Eye 👁️:
“Sereno personally performed Room 101 on Snowy? What the hell is wrong with this bloke?”
“Bonno regains his memories and still doesn’t immediately run back to Snowy. A male character with his own life. Excellent.”
“Viviano is the new male lead? Please don’t reveal that he was secretly an old boyfriend.”
Author 🖊️:
Stop.
Big Eye 👁️:
“Snowy rejects all seven men and goes to dismantle the server herself. Queen.”
Author 🖊️:
I SAID STOP!
Little Turtle 🐢:
Follow rate continues to rise.
[+1037%]
[+1051%]
[+1064%]
Author 🖊️:
Turn it off!
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Why?
Author 🖊️:
Test contamination.
Little Pinky 🐭:
When the Paul version dropped by 93%, you called it market feedback.
When the Snowy version rises by 1028%, suddenly it’s test contamination.
Author 🖊️:
Different things.
Big Eye 👁️:
They are indeed different things.
The Author breathed a sigh of relief.
Big Eye 👁️:
The Paul version is the Author’s wish-fulfilment.
The Snowy version is the readers’ wish-fulfilment.
Author 🖊️:
…
Dustshark 🦈:
Autopsy complete.
Emergency Editorial Meeting Conclusion 🔨:
Little Turtle 🐢:
This incident confirms three major box-office poisons.
🥇 Poison No. 1:
[The male lead always planned everything in advance, meaning every failure was secretly a victory]
Classification:
💀 Character-Vacuum Class
🥈 Poison No. 2:
[All important female characters begin competing for the male lead]
Classification:
💀 Collective Female-Character Brain-Death Class
🥉 Poison No. 3:
[All agents are reduced to the protagonist’s pets, equipment and cheerleaders]
Classification:
💀 Worldbuilding-Demolition Class
Combined result:
[Female-reader drop-out rate: 93%]
Author 🖊️:
Then why does the Snowy version work?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
That does not mean it is genuinely better.
Author 🖊️:
But 1028%.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Because readers know it is a parody.
If you seriously wrote a hundred chapters of it,
it would die as well.
Author 🖊️:
So there’s still hope?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Yes.
Author 🖊️:
Can we keep Little Paul?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
No.
Author 🖊️:
The whole Master-Master thing was quite—
Snowy Owl 🦉:
No.
Author 🖊️:
Snowy and the seven men—
Snowy Owl 🦉:
No.
Author 🖊️:
Swimsuit—
Everyone:
Out.
Final Resolution 🔨:
The Canon version of SILVER EAGLE 2074 shall remain the Second Edition.
Parallel universe:
☒ Forbidden from being merged into Canon
☒ Author forbidden from making unsupervised late-night revisions
☒ “Other power-fantasy novels seem to sell well” may not be used as an editorial justification
☒ SSR agents forbidden
☒ Blizzard Dustshark Breaker forbidden
☒ “Master, Master” Snowy especially forbidden
Author 🖊️:
Can we remove that last one?
Snowy Owl 🦉:
No.
Supplementary Record 📎
The Author secretly opened the Parallel Universe 2.1 data.
[FEMALE-READER FOLLOW RATE: +1028%]
The Author remained silent for one minute.
Then slowly created a new file.
File name:
SNOWY OWL 2074
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Author.
Author 🖊️:
I only created the file.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Delete it.
Author 🖊️:
I haven’t written anything yet.
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Delete it.
Author 🖊️:
Fine.
Little Pinky 🐭:
Empty the Recycle Bin as well.
Author 🖊️:
Do you really have to be that brutal?
Little Turtle 🐢:
Yes.
You will restore it.
Dustshark 🦈:
I’m watching the Recycle Bin.
Translator 🙊:
[AUTHORIAL REVISION IMPULSE: STILL ELEVATED]
[SNOWY CHEAT MODE: LOCKED]
[PAUL: RESTORED TO PAUL]
[SNOWY: RESTORED TO SNOWY]
[FEMALE-READER SURVIVAL RATE: RETURNED TO NORMAL]
[RESIDUAL SNOWY OWL 2074 FILES: 1]
Snowy Owl 🦉:
Author.
Author 🖊️:
…
[MEETING RECONVENED.]